Understanding How Parallel Parenting Can Help Your Divorce

One of the biggest struggles for many divorcing parents is working out the details of the parenting plan. After all, when emotions are high and things aren't particularly civil, it can be challenging to work together. Luckily, co-parenting, or working together to raise the kids, isn't the only way to handle things. If you and your ex are not on good terms, you can ask your attorney about a parallel parenting plan instead. Here's what you should know about this approach.

What Are Parallel Plans?

While co-parenting requires parents working as a team to make decisions for the kids, parallel plans instead define the expectations and responsibilities for each of you separately. When you can't communicate without argument, this type of plan eases the strain by minimizing the required interactions.

How Do Parallel Plans Work?

Parallel plans clearly separate each parent's position with the kids. Each parent is allowed to establish rules and expectations on their own that apply when the kids are with them. This eliminates the need for any agreement between the two of you about how the kids will be raised. It does, however, mean that you have to accept whatever rules exist in your ex's house, even if they are very different from yours. You'll have no recourse if you don't like something he or she has instituted for the kids.

You won't have to worry about communicating weekly about school, recreational activities or any other events. This is ideal when you and your ex are unable to find any common ground, and it's even best for the kids in relationships where communication devolves into fights on a regular basis. You'll only have to share essential information like medical issues and details. And, most parallel plans even allow for indirect communication, like email messages or text communication.

What Affects The Success of Parallel Plans?

Although you and your ex may not be able to get along, you'll need to find some degree of mutual respect to succeed with this type of plan. After all, you'll have to be able to respect each other's authority with the kids and allow the freedom that comes with it. Don't pass judgement, especially in front of the kids, unless something your ex is doing threatens the safety of the kids. If there's an imminent threat, call law enforcement. Otherwise, if you have a concern, you can usually call and express it to your divorce attorney, who will follow up. For more information about how to handle an upcoming divorce, contact a law firm such as the Backus Law Group